What will i do ?

march 4, 2014 by nama

i walked into Walmart at 11:15 pm to grab sugar free peanut butter and lemon juice .

Once again i was reminded how sheltered and comfortable my middle class suburbia is .

The night crowd at Walmart ( staff and clients) is a culture and way of life that i have very little exposure to or understanding of.

i am haunted by the obvious chasm between my world and that world.

i want to know , learn and grow.

 i want to love, share hope and touch the heart of that exhausted, tattered grandma who is stocking shelf’s .

The haunting shifts and the discomfort grows…do i  really want to know and change and love ?

Will i ease on home to my cozy cute living room, snuggle into my overstuffed heated bed, drift off into my middle class delusion of life is good and sleep soundly dreaming of hot latte’s and new trendy throw pillow.

What will i do to change the way i live my abundance ?

Do i care enough to inconvenience my comfy little life plan ?

Do i really, on the deepest level, just wish that people didn’t have to hurt because their sad eyes make me uncomfortable.

Do i feel the pain of the inequity or do i take some sick comfort in the fact that when the lots were cast, mine landed a bit luckier ?

What will i do ?

Will i wait for the haunting to quiet and perhaps be more careful about the time of day i stop for lemon juice  ?

i pray the haunting does not quiet.

He says…

 “That sad  grandma is my precious daughter, will you tell her of my love for her ?”

i pray ” Let your heart be mine.”

What will i do ?

i honestly do not know,

for now

i will pray i do not forget, i will watch for each everyday moment to be HIS love with hands and feet and skin that can touch and love and share and hug.

And i may even plan some late night runs to Walmart with an open heart and willing hands.

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