Even When Things are Hard, HE is Faithful by Melissa

One of our great joys has been watching our oldest son, Travis and his sweet wife Melissa walk their journey into adoption.

Our hearts beat for the miracle of adoption, any adoption is an amazing example of our Loving Father’s redemptive love for each of us.

Few things have had greater impact in the remaking of  Tim and i as children of God than our journey into adoption and the gift of being Mamma and Daddy to our Blessing.

When the adoption journey  is not about  a couple who “need” a baby, but a baby who needs a family, the miracle becomes absolutely breath-taking.

When a couple say, “Here am I, send me!”

and the Lord responds with “If you love my little ones , you have loved me! Will you love one more of my lost lambs?”

That miracle is beyond my understanding, His ways are not our ways, they are so much more !

The miracle is amazing and the journey is daunting.

Travis and Melissa have both shared some very raw parts of their hearts in the past weeks.  It is my honor to share these kids with you my friends.  Tim and i are immeasurably proud of how these two are walking their dependence on their Lord.

Today I give you a peek into Melissa’s Mamma heart.  Tomorrow I will share some amazing stuff our son wrote.  You can follow Travis and Melissa’s journey at The Fischer Family.

August 12, 2014 by Melissa Fischer

Things have been quiet on the blog for the last couple of weeks. Summer adventures and visitors have been keeping us busy. But, if i’m being totally honest, being “busy” is just a convenient excuse. The truth is I’ve been in a bit of a process spiritually and emotionally the last couple of weeks, and as a result, I’ve been avoiding the blog.

After much wrestling with the Lord, I’ve decided it’s time to break my silence and share a bit about what’s been going on in my heart and what I am learning. In short: Even when things are hard, HE is faithful. An obvious truth, I know. But sometimes, even though I “know” things about God, I struggle to feel and completely trust those things and to live in the freedom and assurance they bring to my life.

Let me back up and unpack a bit. Three weeks ago, Travis and I launched our Adopt Together page to ask for help in funding our adoption. Up until that point, we had been pursuing various avenues on our own in order to save the finances we need. Long story short {you can read the long story here} we felt the Lord was asking us to step out in faith and ask our community of friends and family for support. It was not an easy journey to be open to that level of vulnerability, but we knew it was what HE wanted from us, so we took the step. Let me tell you God responded in some amazingly encouraging ways!

The morning we shared our page for the first time, we had the opportunity to meet with a pastor at our church. Pastor Sean and his wife have adopted three times and also have two biological children. We spent a solid hour with Sean, and let me tell you, PLEASE never underestimate the power of the Lord speaking to you through someone else. Sean’s words were unbelievably encouraging, challenging, life-giving, thought-provoking, helpful, and precious to us. We left our meeting feeling completely filled, refreshed, inspired and grateful.

Throughout the rest of the week, we had an AMAZING response to our Adopt Together page. We are completely humbled, and SO grateful for every person that has joined us on our journey. I want to take a minute to publicly thank you all again. You will never know what it means to us. Truly.

Since that week, I have been on a spiritual and emotional roller coaster. Some days it feels easy and normal to just continue living life as a family of four without knowing when we will be able to add the fifth Fischer to our home. On those days, I am able to enjoy living life taking our two on adventures and getting caught up in the normal routine of life.

Other days, however, it feels everything but easy and normal. On those days, my heart aches all the time. It aches to know who our birth mom is, it aches to know who our baby is, it aches to know when we will get to meet them, it aches to move forward in this journey I know the Lord has called us to be on. On those days I feel sad, frustrated and stuck. I feel bitter that something as trivial as money is {seemingly} the only thing that stands between us and giving a child a loving forever home. Bottom line, I feel sick of waiting.

Waiting.is.hard. That’s all there is to it. When you feel ready to move forward with something and the Lord says “not yet” it’s hard and it’s usually not fun.

These last couple of weeks have been a lot of working through the hard, the sad, the frustrating, the confusing, the moments of hopelessness, and {most importantly} the lies I am so tempted to believe.

You see, I have absolutely no trouble believing that God can do ANYTHING. For me, that truth is simple, and I trust it easily. I KNOW God has the power to make it happen. He could make $21,870 show up in the mail or on our Adopt Together page today if that was His will. I know that. Where the hard begins for me is when He decides not to {or at least not immediately} and I am left wondering “why not God”.

Luckily, I serve a God who loves and cares for me through all of my muck and despite my sin and lack of faith. I serve a God who not only allows me but WANTS me to pour out my heart to Him. He wants me to be honest about the hard and the questions. He wants me to come to Him. He wants to know me and be known by me. He wants to teach me in the waiting. I serve a God who continues to show me His faithfulness even when things in life feel hard, impossible, frustrating and sad.

Over the course of the last couple of weeks as I have felt sad and stuck in our adoption process, the Lord has been so sweet to me. He has put someone or something in my life at just the right moments to breathe life and truth into the deepest parts of my soul. He has given me the encouragement I need to pick my head up and continue on. He has ever so gently nurtured my hurting heart in the kindest of ways.

In the dark of night when I’ve been alone with my thoughts, He’s used my husband to speak truth and encouragement to me. When I’ve felt like this adoption is never going to happen, He uses the testimony of His provision for dear friends’ adoptions to remind me the He CAN and He WILL. When I’ve felt alone, He has used the donation of a stranger to remind me that others are there and they care. When I’ve felt sad and frustrated, He has used the wise words of our church pastor to challenge me in truth about my heart and attitude. In each of these situations, He knew exactly what I needed, and He was faithful to give it to me.

So, as I wait to see how our adoption process will continue to unfold, I am encouraged because I know the one who is sovereignly in control of it all, and HE is faithful. His plans are better than mine. His timing is better than mine. He already knows who our baby and birth mama are. He has chosen them. The money will be there when we absolutely need it. He has worked out every detail. And I am so grateful to be surrendered to the plans of the omniscient, omnipotent, sovereign God who loves and cares for me.

All I have to do is sit back and wait.

One last thing: If you want to be encouraged big time, please listen to our pastor, Tim Chaddick, speak about what it means to be surrendered to God. This message rocked my world. You can find the message here.

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