August 25, 2014 by Nama
Each day i see a bit more clearly that our marriage is the most important relationship in which I can be working out my Faith.
If my Lord has promised it or he has commanded it there is no more important place for me to practice it than in my relationship with Tim.
Philippians 4 is a favorite passage of mine, what does this passage look like in my marriage?
…for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
i am to be thankful for the blessing of what my marriage is, the grass is not greener over there…
i am to be content with who my partner is now, today. i can not be content while fixating on all that i would like changed in my spouse.
If i can learn contentment for my physical needs because of my God’s Grace , can i not also rely on my God to meet my emotional, mental and spiritual needs when my spouse falls short of my expectations ?
Judging others makes us blind, whereas love is illuminating. By judging others we blind ourselves to our own evil and to the grace which others are just as entitled to as we are.”
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship
If i focus on my spouses sin, shortcomings or mistakes, i will be blinded to my own sin, opening our marriage up to Satan’s destructive cycle of; judge, resent, and expect the worse, a cycle that will only lead us to the worse possible place in our marriage. We must give unlimited Grace to our spouses, as our Lord has lavished on us.
C.S. Lewis, who had to forgive many injuries and offenses over his lifetime, speaks of the necessity of forgiveness:
We say a great many things in church (and out of church too) without thinking of what we are saying. For instance, we say in the Creed, “I believe in the forgiveness of sins.” I had been saying it for several years before I asked myself why it was in the Creed. At first sight it seems hardly worth putting in. “If one is a Christian,” I thought, “of course one believes in the forgiveness of sins. It goes without saying.” But the people who com- piled the Creed apparently thought that this was a part of our belief which we needed to be reminded of every time we went to church. And I have begun to see that, as far as I am concerned, they were right. To believe in the forgiveness of sins is not nearly so easy as I thought. Real belief in it is the sort of thing that very easily slips away if we don’t keep on polishing it up. We believe that God forgives us our sins; but also that He will not do so unless we for- give other people their sins against us. There is no doubt about the second part of this statement. It is in the Lord’s Prayer; was emphatically stated by our Lord. If you don’t forgive you will not be forgiven. No part of His teaching is clearer, and there are no ex- ceptions to it. He doesn’t say that we are to forgive other people’s sins provided they are not too frightful, or provided there are extenuating circumstances, or anything of that sort. We are to forgive them all, however spiteful, however mean, however often they are repeated. If we don’t, we shall be forgiven none of our own.
That is a price i am not willing to pay for the sick comfort of holding tightly to my grudge.