My Daughter In Law may be a Genius

Blessing and i are caring for Travis and Melissa’s 3 children for 7 days, we are 1.5 days in and i am so grateful for the mothering style Melissa has developed. 
Melissa has developed a really effective blend of “good enough is good enough” and high structure.
Three littles under the age of 5 is a lot.

IMG_4440

My apologies mommy and daddy  for publishing this mess, but she is gorgeous All The Time ! + a big 11 month old today.

There is No way around it, the needs of three tiny hearts and tummies takes more energy and patience than any one human being can easily find. Just to make things extra fun our Lord ordained that all three of Travis and Melissa’s littles would be high energy big personalities. Tim and i raised a child or two who pretty much were content putting together puzzles and reading books from the time they were early toddlers, not these tiny Fisch.

They are also really really BIG fun!

Their little thoughts and requests and acrobatics and creative energy are absolutely amazing.

i have found much joy in watching our adult kids research, read, question and develop their own version of nurturing for the littles they are trusted with. i have never felt i needed to “teach” them, they were chosen as the perfect parents for these littles, i was the perfect parent for some littles a  long long time ago.

Melissa knew early on she needed some structure and control. She has done an exceptional job of developing a schedule for sleep and eating that runs like clockwork. It really is amazing…she should Blog or something with her wisdom and experience.
As a young mama struggled with the lie that if my child was not happy i was failing as a mom. This led to a lot of jumping to the whimper and whine of the little one who really had no idea what he wanted and was often unhappy with the very thing he had just been wailing for.  Some of our children-in-laws may say i raised needy big babies. i have no regrets, they are adults i am proud to claim as the fruit of my labors, but i was a weary worn mama most moments of my mothering. The structure and schedule that Melissa has built into their parenting style makes the demands and unpredictability of little ones so much more manageable = enjoyable.
The thing that is so impressive is that while Melissa runs a tight ship in some really important areas, she is also very confident about letting a lot of the things this world screams are important not matter.  i don’t see her fighting to be a pinterest mom 24/7 , i don’t see her running ragged trying to meet all the demands of this culture for a stay at home mom or a succeeding 4 year old child.
i don’t get to share the inside information on how Trav and Sissa live their life’s, but i hope Melissa shares more of her secrets for peaceful success on her Blog someday.
Speaking of her blog, that is a beautiful example of her choices….i have watched her allow her blog rest, mostly quiet over this past year as she has given her all to nurturing a new baby and their two bigger kids. The Blog could be viewed as important and fun, fulfilling and creative…but her babies will only be these babies for these months and Melissa has made the sacrifice of laying down her goals and projects in exchange for the privilege of growing little human beings.

That is tough, because the noble call of raising and training little people sounds lovely, but the day to day of it is… diapers , and spit up and dirty dishes and one more peanut butter sandwich and fussy two year olds and bossy 4 year olds and needy attaching infants and….it ……never….ends…..and almost none of it seems fun or fulfilling as we are doing it day after day after day.

So besides sharing with the world that i am proud of the home our Melissa is managing, my point might be….give yourself a breather young mama. It is good and wise to teach a child to wait,

to rest quietly,

that mama is tired too,

that dinner will be in 30 minutes and the wait will not hurt you, and if you need to fuss about that you may fuss in your room because we are a happy family and you are welcome to be a part of the fun when you can be fun.

DISCLAIMER: All photos are while i am in charge of Melissa’s home. When Melissa is in charge here she keeps their home much neater with 3 children than i keep mine with one child.

Advertisements

Please Share your thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s